I found out today through some probing questions that the kid I sit for watches about an hour of tv each night. Let me get this straight. I can't play wii with him and work on game play social rules after he earns the privilege to do so but you plop him down in front of the TV to keep him busy every night?
GAH!!!!
Either way, we have a new system. We have a good job jar that he works on earning stones and pebbles and such to fill. When it's full (i estimate about once a week), he gets a larger reward from his parents. It gets filled while I'm there and while I'm gone. Since there's something to make their lives easier at home, his mom is for it. Figures.
Wedding planning quote of the day: The Conscious Bride "Everyone says 'it takes a year to plan a wedding' and now I know why. It takes a year for the emotions to move through you."
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Parents are NUTS.
Seriously. Some parents are total psychos. Ask any teacher.
The kid I sit for requires a lot of structure to hold himself together and he does not handle transitions or unexpected occurrences very well (especially ones he deems undesirable). We've been using a positive behavior support system to reward things he does well or times he is especially nice, polite, shares well, etc. It's worked wonders. He earns two minutes of screen time (tv, phone games, tablet games, wii, etc) at a time to cash in at the end of the day to equal up to 20 minutes. Well, he's not allowed screen time anymore. AT ALL. He's also not really allowed to have junk foods and I don't really condone the use of edible rewards. So now he's not working toward anything and he's a nightmare. He's 5. He's incapable of being good for the sake of being good. Developmentally, he's not there yet. And he darn well shouldn't be.
He has, however, learned to wipe his own butt, use manners consistently without being prompted, clear his plate without being asked to, get out lunch materials independently, pick up his toys without a fuss and he reads me a book every day, even if he doesn't feel like reading. All in the 2 1/2 weeks I've been there.
I'm not going to argue with him all day to get him to do the things he has to do with no purpose. I've had job offers elsewhere that I'm more than happy to take. I'm a degree holding educator who's working as a nanny for pete's sake. I'm a hot commodity! I admit that I do value myself more than I probably should, but come on. I won't sit back and fight with a kid when I've got research and training that tells me to do otherwise.
Soooo tomorrow I'm going to present the parents with my research documents and ask for acceptable, motivating rewards. If that doesn't work out, they're on their own. SHEESH!
And my wedding planning quote of the day goes to: A Practical Wedding "F*** em if they don't like the chairs"
The kid I sit for requires a lot of structure to hold himself together and he does not handle transitions or unexpected occurrences very well (especially ones he deems undesirable). We've been using a positive behavior support system to reward things he does well or times he is especially nice, polite, shares well, etc. It's worked wonders. He earns two minutes of screen time (tv, phone games, tablet games, wii, etc) at a time to cash in at the end of the day to equal up to 20 minutes. Well, he's not allowed screen time anymore. AT ALL. He's also not really allowed to have junk foods and I don't really condone the use of edible rewards. So now he's not working toward anything and he's a nightmare. He's 5. He's incapable of being good for the sake of being good. Developmentally, he's not there yet. And he darn well shouldn't be.
He has, however, learned to wipe his own butt, use manners consistently without being prompted, clear his plate without being asked to, get out lunch materials independently, pick up his toys without a fuss and he reads me a book every day, even if he doesn't feel like reading. All in the 2 1/2 weeks I've been there.
I'm not going to argue with him all day to get him to do the things he has to do with no purpose. I've had job offers elsewhere that I'm more than happy to take. I'm a degree holding educator who's working as a nanny for pete's sake. I'm a hot commodity! I admit that I do value myself more than I probably should, but come on. I won't sit back and fight with a kid when I've got research and training that tells me to do otherwise.
Soooo tomorrow I'm going to present the parents with my research documents and ask for acceptable, motivating rewards. If that doesn't work out, they're on their own. SHEESH!
And my wedding planning quote of the day goes to: A Practical Wedding "F*** em if they don't like the chairs"
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
New year: new posts
I forgot I had a blog. College will do that to you. Now that I've graduated, I'm going to start dedicating some time to posting more often.
Some things about me and my life right now:
I'm newly engaged, moved in with my fiance, and am frantically planning my wedding. Not that I'm doing it shotgun style, or anything. In fact, it's a fairly long engagement. I just do everything frantically.
I'm not teaching right now and it kills me. I'm actually a nanny, now that I've graduated. Most boring job I've ever had. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE THAT CHILD. He's 5 and incredible. With a bit of structure, he's the most behaved kid ever. However, he has no special needs and is actually REALLY smart for his age. It's not exactly a challenge.
I've decided to volunteer as an adult literacy tutor. My brain is far too bored to keep going on this way. I'm very excited to start this endeavor and am sure it will lead to many posts.
I'm also absolutely, positively, addicted to pinterest. It's ridiculous. It's done interesting things for my sleep and anxiety levels. Oddly enough, when I'm on pinterest, I have NO wedding anxiety. It's when I get off that I have anxiety. I think that's actually a legitimate addiction.
Needless to say, the reaction my sleep is having is not favorable. Added anxiety+a fun alternative to sleep=lauren on pinterest for hours while her fiance whines about her incessant clicking.
He'll survive. I might not, but I'll enjoy being brought down by the internet!
I'll leave you with my new mantra (which is the cover of my planning binder).
A wedding is a celebration, not a performance. If, at the end of the day, you are married to the one you love, everything went perfectly.
Some things about me and my life right now:
I'm newly engaged, moved in with my fiance, and am frantically planning my wedding. Not that I'm doing it shotgun style, or anything. In fact, it's a fairly long engagement. I just do everything frantically.
I'm not teaching right now and it kills me. I'm actually a nanny, now that I've graduated. Most boring job I've ever had. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE THAT CHILD. He's 5 and incredible. With a bit of structure, he's the most behaved kid ever. However, he has no special needs and is actually REALLY smart for his age. It's not exactly a challenge.
I've decided to volunteer as an adult literacy tutor. My brain is far too bored to keep going on this way. I'm very excited to start this endeavor and am sure it will lead to many posts.
I'm also absolutely, positively, addicted to pinterest. It's ridiculous. It's done interesting things for my sleep and anxiety levels. Oddly enough, when I'm on pinterest, I have NO wedding anxiety. It's when I get off that I have anxiety. I think that's actually a legitimate addiction.
Needless to say, the reaction my sleep is having is not favorable. Added anxiety+a fun alternative to sleep=lauren on pinterest for hours while her fiance whines about her incessant clicking.
He'll survive. I might not, but I'll enjoy being brought down by the internet!
I'll leave you with my new mantra (which is the cover of my planning binder).
A wedding is a celebration, not a performance. If, at the end of the day, you are married to the one you love, everything went perfectly.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Talk about anxiety: plan a wedding!
The dress is bought. I'd post it, but I don't want my FH to see it. It desperately needs a sash. Since I found this giveaway, I've been having trouble sleeping just thinking about winning it. A teacher salary does not make for an extravagant wedding, so my once-wed dress and a free sash would make me look as fortunate as I feel. I can't wait for the giveaway to end so that I can know if I won it or not! Otherwise, it's off the the change jar to start saving pennies that aren't budgeted to buy this sash!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Find me an overly behaved child and I'll stop
I'm so sick of my supervising teacher telling me that I need to lower my expectations of my students. Not educationally. I set realistic goals for them there. She thinks I expect too much out of them as far as making them be responsible for their own actions. I demand respect from them and I give it right back to them. I assign homework and if it doesn't come back the next day after ample time to complete it in class, I take points off. I don't let them roll their eyes at me and I make them make eye contact when we're discussing the choices they've made. If they mumble under their breath, it does not go unnoticed. They're in SIXTH grade! Are these crazy demands?! Don't be a disrespectful snot, do your homework, and recognize that actions have consequences. I don't have them sitting in neat little rows with folded hands saying "Yes Miss G." I clearly state my expectations and then hold them accountable. I've had it with this crappy student teaching placement.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Success!
My kids were naughty today. I know you're not supposed to call the students in your classroom "yours" but screw it. I would jump in front of a bus for those buggers. So anyway, they have an assistant who goes to P.E. with them to keep them in line because they have trouble holding in their bad behaviors in unstructured times. Because they were being so naughty, I decided I'd go to P.E. with them today. They were great. I was surprised at how great they were and wondered why they even have an assistant go with them in the first place. However, as I was leaving with them, the P.E. teacher pulled me aside and thanked me for coming down with them because things went so smoothly. It was presidential fitness testing week (pull ups and sit ups) and he knew that it was going to be tough for my students to keep it together. In special ed, it's sometimes hard to see the impact you're having on students because they don't progress as quickly as "normal" students. Today was one of those moments where I really truly knew I made an impact and it made my day!!! :D
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
The breakdown
It happened today. My disability disabled me. Sure, all of the disabling was what led me to get diagnosed in the first place, but it hasn't happened since starting medication.
Let's backtrack a bit. In October of last year, I dropped out of all of my classes due to overwhelming anxiety. I couldn't do my projects or even get sleep. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, started meds, did some counseling and moved on with life. Sure, I'm still an anxious person, but I'm generally in good spirits about it. Anxiety saves lives. It forces me to be prepared for the absolute worst. It's hoping for the best that I struggle with, but the boy scouts would be so proud of me. I think there's a branch of the military with the "Be Prepared" motto as well.
Anyways, as a special educator (graduating soon, yay!), I'm supposed to be all gung ho about embracing disabilities and blah, blah, blah. Let's face it, people. This is something that prevents me from doing things that so called "normal" people can do no problem. I'm not too big on being all "Yay! I totally freak out at the mere thought of misfortune!" Sure, there's nothing wrong with me, but that doesn't change the fact that it's annoying as all get out and today it hit hard.
I recently decided to stop taking my birth control pills because I don't take them regularly. What's the use of irregularly regulating your hormones? So now my ovaries are screaming, "Why should I have to do this?! I haven't had to make estrogen in like 5 years!" and my hormone levels are all over the place. Turns out making estrogen is not like riding a bike. I randomly cry. Today I randomly cried and then cried about how I was randomly crying. "Normal people don't do this!" I said to myself. I was quickly overcome with guilt.
No special educator should say anything like that. It's true. There is a majority and a minority. The majority of people can stop themselves from randomly crying or hyperventilating or vomiting about situations that occur on a daily basis. I can't and it infuriates me. Even though my anxiety is under control (for the most part) I can't control my emotions. And while we're on the topic, that's a terrible saying. No one can control their emotions. I'd like to be able to control my responses to my emotions, though. I blame the saying for my anger. It implies that I should be capable of controlling the natural feelings I have at various times.
I guess that's how I handle things. I blame other things for the issues I have that are not under my control. I used to be really good at finding silver linings, like always being more prepared than the boy scouts, but I seem to have lost my flair.
That's my goal for this blog. I want to find my flair again. Sure, I'll be writing about my anxiety (and I haven't even gotten to the angst yet. That part comes from my 6th graders) but I'm hoping to get some insight into myself here. My anxiety causes my mind to go a million miles a minute but I can only type so fast. It focuses me and forces me to fixate on what I'm really trying to say. So, I guess if you're reading this, you're getting the real me. I'll do my best to keep it that way. Unedited and uncut. I won't even go back and read this until I hit the "publish" button.
Be prepared tip of the day: Knowing your emergency exits is only half of being prepared. A truly anxious person also knows where to hide when the exits are blocked. I've lived in four different places in the last year. If an axe murderer came in and I couldn't get out, he'd never find me ;)
Let's backtrack a bit. In October of last year, I dropped out of all of my classes due to overwhelming anxiety. I couldn't do my projects or even get sleep. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, started meds, did some counseling and moved on with life. Sure, I'm still an anxious person, but I'm generally in good spirits about it. Anxiety saves lives. It forces me to be prepared for the absolute worst. It's hoping for the best that I struggle with, but the boy scouts would be so proud of me. I think there's a branch of the military with the "Be Prepared" motto as well.
Anyways, as a special educator (graduating soon, yay!), I'm supposed to be all gung ho about embracing disabilities and blah, blah, blah. Let's face it, people. This is something that prevents me from doing things that so called "normal" people can do no problem. I'm not too big on being all "Yay! I totally freak out at the mere thought of misfortune!" Sure, there's nothing wrong with me, but that doesn't change the fact that it's annoying as all get out and today it hit hard.
I recently decided to stop taking my birth control pills because I don't take them regularly. What's the use of irregularly regulating your hormones? So now my ovaries are screaming, "Why should I have to do this?! I haven't had to make estrogen in like 5 years!" and my hormone levels are all over the place. Turns out making estrogen is not like riding a bike. I randomly cry. Today I randomly cried and then cried about how I was randomly crying. "Normal people don't do this!" I said to myself. I was quickly overcome with guilt.
No special educator should say anything like that. It's true. There is a majority and a minority. The majority of people can stop themselves from randomly crying or hyperventilating or vomiting about situations that occur on a daily basis. I can't and it infuriates me. Even though my anxiety is under control (for the most part) I can't control my emotions. And while we're on the topic, that's a terrible saying. No one can control their emotions. I'd like to be able to control my responses to my emotions, though. I blame the saying for my anger. It implies that I should be capable of controlling the natural feelings I have at various times.
I guess that's how I handle things. I blame other things for the issues I have that are not under my control. I used to be really good at finding silver linings, like always being more prepared than the boy scouts, but I seem to have lost my flair.
That's my goal for this blog. I want to find my flair again. Sure, I'll be writing about my anxiety (and I haven't even gotten to the angst yet. That part comes from my 6th graders) but I'm hoping to get some insight into myself here. My anxiety causes my mind to go a million miles a minute but I can only type so fast. It focuses me and forces me to fixate on what I'm really trying to say. So, I guess if you're reading this, you're getting the real me. I'll do my best to keep it that way. Unedited and uncut. I won't even go back and read this until I hit the "publish" button.
Be prepared tip of the day: Knowing your emergency exits is only half of being prepared. A truly anxious person also knows where to hide when the exits are blocked. I've lived in four different places in the last year. If an axe murderer came in and I couldn't get out, he'd never find me ;)
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